Difficult movies

I remember when I saw Mean Streets (1973), I got into a discussion with my friend about the negative movie. They lived kind of negative lives, and there's violence and dysfunction. I can sort of watch those kinds of movies, but they're not as fun. Realism maybe. Artistic maybe. Not really enjoyable.

Another friend took me to Irreversible (2002), a horrible horrible movie, but artistic and well done. At the time I didn't mind how horrible it was.

I remember Hotel Rwanda (2004) was a movie I tried to macho watch, take the suffering.

I remember watching The Lighthouse (2019) with my son, and I was horrified and confused, but he was really enjoying the movie. I kind of envied him enjoying it.

Recently I could get through Climax (2018) I just had such a sense of foreboding that it was just not worth it to me to watch more than 35 minutes.

Now I'm getting older, and I find the negative movies and traumatic experiences painful. I'm watching The Salesman, the 2016 Iranian Foreign Film winner, and it's just so much pain. It's a beautiful movie, and I'm watching it because my Iranian friend recommended it. I want to learn more about Iran. Such a painful aftermath. I think I'm too sensitive sometimes. My 8 year old daughter doesn't like movies because there's this tense moment in the movie that freaks her out, movies build to a real crescendo of tension. I tell her it's just a movie, but honestly I'm like that too, I have trouble detaching.

I meditate a lot, think about lovingkindness, compassion, sympathetic joy and equanimity, and I guess I need more equanimity. I meditate on gladdening the mind, steadying the mind, but I guess I need more relinquishment.

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Manet and Degas

Brilliant video explaining the exhibit. Go to the Met and see the exhibit! It's really quite special. In the last gallery the painting this sketch is based off of, of the execution of a Mexican president. The painting has been cut into sections, and the surviving Degas has reassembled them. NY Times review

AOC

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6 month old podcast

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