Grief

My first conscious dramatic loss was my dog brownie when I was 7 or something. It was in the Smokey Mountains where my grandparents retired, outside of Hayesville. They'd bought a brown dog for me and called him Brownie. He was a puppy. My aunt ran over him, I guess he was laying under the car, in the shade on a hot summer's day. He was wiggling about, obviously incapacitated by being run over. My grandfather got out his .22 rifle, and put Brownie out of his misery. My grandmother told me not to watch. They buried him and put a wooden cross over the spot where they buried him. Last time I was in Hayesville, I saw the cross where Brownie is buried.

Reading Hamnet, it is just so sad. We don't even know if Shakespeare got there in time for the burial, but the novel imagines into the space, creates a family to whom the loss was grave. Quite sad. 

We lost Ruth Bader Ginsburg yesterday. She was 87 years old. I don't know much about her beyond her being towards the liberal end of the political spectrum, and that Trump is the sitting president. Obama nominated someone after a justice died, but the Republicans blocked it. They said he could not nominate one in an election year. That really made me angry at the time, and I'm fuming about it still. I'm pretty sure the Republicans will seek to get one, forgetting the rule they conveniently made up for Obama. The Senate is controlled by Republicans so Trump may change the rule from 4 years ago. It does not need to go to the House. His impeachment didn't go through because of the Republican majority in the Senate. 

The House begins the process of impeachment, and they voted to Impeach the president. But the Senate did not confirm, and the person who did not get the majority of votes, who some consider illegitimate on that account, was blocked from being impeached. He could be impeached for a big laundry list of crimes. His recent suggestion that his voters vote more than once is yet one example. His gross emoluments is what I would have impeached him for.

Brett Kavanaugh is the justice Republicans stole from the Democrats. He should not be there. 

I'm finding that Grief is about the world I wish it was, not the one it clearly is. Lots of grief. Sometimes it is about my lost Grandmothers or Grandfathers. Sometimes it's about the person I wish I'd been, one who didn't make a huge mistake that I made, betraying my supposed ideals. It's what you do that counts. The script is not over about who I was, and I hope to write a positive ending.