Note on style

When I was younger I would read writing style books because I didn't have opinions about style. But I was reading a friend's book and I remembered one style element from when I was editing writers work as a supervisor in a child welfare program.

My friend wrote that a church was "very modest". I feel that "very" is distracting, maybe even histrionic. Modest will do all the work you need. What is the difference between a modest church and a very modest church?

So I would just cross out every "very" in my workers writing because it seemed hysterical. Mind you I don't mind hysteria, I was called emotionally reactive myself, though I had decided to let my emotions out, model emotional awareness, not panic that they need a lid put on them.

The other thing about hysteria is the horrible history of men using the medical setting to try to put a lid on women. T. S. Eliot putting his wife in an institution because she was difficult. Actually I don't know much about that case, so I shouldn't speak, maybe she was very unbearable.

I looked for images of very. Turns out a few people agree with me. Instead of very modest, you can also change the word, to perhaps run down, or primitive or brick and mortar.

Here is what the computer thesaurus says:

humble
moderate
prudent
quiet
simple
unassuming

bashful
blushing
chaste
coy
demure
diffident
discreet
lowly
meek
nice
proper
reserved
resigned
reticent
retiring
seemly
self-conscious
self-effacing
sheepish
silent
temperate
timid
unassertive
unassured
unboastful
unobtrusive
unpresuming
unpretending
unpretentious
withdrawing

Because of my friend's condescending colonial viewpoint inherent in missionary work in Africa, I would say the synonym she wanted was "lowly".

Now don't go crazy, I think it's cool to be generous and to experience other parts of the world. I'm just not going to ignore the way religion is used to help colonize other countries.

But knowing how kind and loving she is, she probably meant "humble".